Epiphany
by natalie s
Summary: A disastrous away mission causes Trip and T'pol to finally confront their feelings, but in true Romeo and Juliet style, tragedy occurs soon after.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note

The muse has been pestering me to write, normally that would be good. However, I have exams, and apparently revision helps!

This is set quite soon after home, and goes completely AU from there on. This will be very angsty, so be warned!

Disclaimer- Still don't own Enterprise, I did ask for it for my Birthday last week, but I didn't get it. (Cries)

Rating- T

Summary - A disastrous away mission causes Trip and T'pol to finally confront their feelings, but in true Romeo and Juliet style, tragedy occurs soon after.

* * *

Epiphany

A spectacular curtain of golden yellow and orange licked at the edges of the enormous ice ball of a planet. The crisp white celestial body hung loosely on Enterprise's view screen as the bridge crew looked on. It had been over a year since Enterprise had even considered a mission of exploration, the Xindi conflict preventing the crew from carrying out its original mission, instead plunging Enterprise into the middle of a war to save Earth. This was going to be Enterprise's first exploratory mission since the Expanse. Archer for one couldn't be happier; this was why he had always aspired to be the captain of the very first warp five ship. To explore, experience new things, and meet new species.

The crew also seemed to be in good spirits, but that was probably due more to the fact that they had just had several weeks of much deserved shore leave. Archer himself had met up with old friends, a certain Columbia captain to be exact. The thought of Erika brought a small smile to his lips. The rest of the crew were almost in as good a mood as he, Hoshi, he had heard had gone back to Brazil, to meet old friends, students, and of course her family. Travis had met up with the crew of the Horizon, who had stopped off at Earth, and Malcolm, well he wasn't exactly sure where the security officer had gone, perhaps he had taken some time to relax, left all his duties behind… well it could have happened Archer mused.

Trip and T'pol on the other hand looked worse now than they were on the Xindi mission. Archer hadn't been as close to the engineer in the last year, the mission taking all of his energies and focus and was something he regretted. He hadn't even been there for Trip when Lizzie had died, Archer had met Trip's younger sister several times, and it was hard not to like her. She had that natural Tucker charm and wit, just like her brother. He couldn't even relate to what it must have felt like for his chief engineer to lose her. He didn't even attempt to find out, or be there for Trip or any other member of the crew when they needed him, something he had promised he would never do again.

The Captain hadn't spent that much time with Trip recently, but he could tell something was bothering his best friend, the once up beat and happy engineer was now just a shell of his former self. Whether it was just the effects of the Xindi mission, or something else entirely he couldn't figure out, and every time he attempted to talk to him, Trip would use his apparent backlog of work as an excuse, he wouldn't even come to the Captain's mess for breakfast.

T'pol similarly seemed more…. Detached and depressed, to the extent a Vulcan could be. He had heard she spent all free time in her quarters, and the only time he had seen her when she was not on duty was yesterday morning, when they had breakfast, something he almost had to order her to attend. It had occurred to Archer that his two most senior officer's moods could be related. They did seem to spend more time together in the Expanse, and then there was the neuro-pressure, a very intimate procedure by all accounts. Perhaps something more than curing Trip's nightmares had been going on. That would also explain why at staff meetings they avoided looking in each other's directions, and stayed as far away from each other as possible whenever they had to work together. God, what had he missed?

Archer's attention was drawn back to the main view screen as a wider array of colour burst forth upon the screen. It reminded him slightly of the auroras on Earth; however, they paled in comparison to this. It seemed the planet's composition and conditions, amplified the effects, amongst other things. Resulting in several unusual readings not associated with this event to appear on Enterprise's scanners.

"Do we know anything more about it T'pol?" Archer queried looking over to the science station, where the Vulcan was seated behind.

"The Vulcan science directorate has determined that this event occurs every one hundred and thirty seven years, however it doesn't contain any record of the anomalous scans we are receiving. Nor can I theorise why we are receiving these readings."

"So we may have just found something the Vulcan's missed," Archer replied, his voice sounding eager.

"Perhaps" was her simple reply. "However, Enterprise's scanners are receiving some electromagnetic interference, possibly causing the anomalies. A shuttle pod is better shielded against them, and would not be subjected to the same interference. If we were to investigate further using one of Enterprise's shuttle's to collect the data would be the best course of action." She finished

The Captain nodded, the crew could use an easy mission anyway, and besides maybe now he had a way for his two most senior officers to sort out their problems. He wasn't the only one that had noticed their hesitance to work together, and whenever they were in the same room together the tension increased ten fold. For a ship to run it needed its officers to work smoothly and efficiently together, not avoid each other every chance they got.

"T'pol, contact Trip, I want you two to take the shuttle and investigate further." Archer ordered, T'pol's Vulcan mask faded slightly and it almost looked like a look of alarm appeared on her features. "Very well Captain" She replied, almost hesitantly. She stood up from her console and moved over to the Turbo lift heading for engineering.

T'pol walked slowly through Enterprise's grey corridors, towards the engine room. It had been four weeks now since she had married Koss, a marriage that was more out of a sense of duty to her family than anything else. The thought of her … husband brought a slight sickening feeling to the young Vulcan. She had never expected her trip home would end with her marrying Koss, and with _him _watching her. Her heart sank at the thought of the engineer, would she be like this if Trip was the one she had bonded to? _It is illogical to think this way _she chided herself _Koss is your mate now. You are Vulcan, you and the Commander could never have been together. _Her inner voice screamed to her, as if trying to convince her. That didn't stop her from flashing back to the last time she had saw him on Vulcan, she had caught his eyes after the ceremony. His bright blue eyes, which usually were so happy and alive now just showed pain and sadness. He had stood by her, watched her marry someone else, even though it had nearly killed him. He smiled to her, an empty smile, and then he mouthed goodbye to her, his bottom lip quivering slightly as he fought back the tears that threatened to spill, and then he left. It took all of her Vulcan training to stop her running after him. Instead, she remained in her position at Koss's side, somewhere she would have to remain for the rest of her life.

T'pol was brought out of her musings as she realised she was entering engineering; she walked over to Lieutenant Hess and inquired as to the whereabouts of the chief Engineer. The Lieutenant absently pointed to one of the consoles on the upper levels as she went back to analysing the component she had grasped in her fingers. T'pol nodded her thanks and climbed up the ladder to the upper level, she moved over to the far station where a pair of long legs poked out from underneath the console. His greasy uniform was pulled slightly down, exposing part of his muscular torso.

"Hess, is that you? Can you hand me the spanner?" he asked. T'pol looked around, her gaze stopping on the toolbox, she moved over to it and took out the necessary instrument and passed it Trip. His hand came up to grab it, as he did his fingers brushed hers. The second their skin met it felt as if a small wave of electricity had passed between the two, T'pol quickly withdrew her hand, as Trip pulled himself from out under the console.

"T'pol?" he questioned "I thought you were Hess." He stated, standing up.

His eyes darted away from hers as he realised how close he was standing to her, he took a few steps back. _Is this how it's always going to be? _She asked herself, as the engineer avoided looking at her. Instead placing the spanner in the box, and wiping some of the sweat off his face with his arm.

"What did you want?" He asked, the question coming out more harshly than he had wanted.

T'pol's Vulcan features showed no emotion to his comment, however inside was a different story. "The Captain wants you to accompany me on an away mission to explore the phenomenon we have just encountered." she stated, abruptly back. He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off, "It is not up for debate Commander," she stated.

Trip winced at her use of his rank, she often referred to him by it but now it just sounded… different, harsher. It reminded him that his nickname would never again sound on her lips, married Vulcan's apparently did not familiarise themselves with other males, that meant no nicknames, no Trip - just Commander, or Mr Tucker.

"I'll see you down in the shuttle bay in half an hour. I need to shower and I wouldn't want to offend that sensitive nose of yours." He told her, walking past her before she had a chance to answer.

The engineer headed out of engineering towards his quarters, the second he had come back from Vulcan he had plunged himself back into work. Someone needed to co-ordinate Enterprise's upgrades from Jupiter Station and he was more than willing to do it. He had thought that by working he could forget about _her. _The person who had both healed and broken his heart. He had at first believed that the trip to Vulcan would be a good thing, a very good thing. He had a chance to see T'pol's home, meet her family. He had even decided that he would ask her to start a relationship with him, going as far as planning it out. He was going to take her to the fire planes, tell her, tell her he had never felt the same way about anyone, that he thought he was falling in love with her. He knew it was overly emotional, but hell, he didn't care. Except then she sprung her arranged marriage on him, what was he suppose to do? He did the only thing he could, stand by her and support her. After all that's what a good _friend_ would have done, right?

T'pol's mother had found out what his feelings were, he had even found himself confessing to her when he first realised that he loved her daughter, she had told him to tell T'pol, but he couldn't. She had enough on her plate as it was, she didn't need a love struck human messing with her mind. Even so, that didn't stop him from hating… her husband with every fibre of his being. He had currently come up with a mental list of two hundred and thirteen ways Koss could 'accidentally' disappear. He knew it was childish, but it made him feel slightly better.

Ever since T'pol had come back from Vulcan, he had tried to avoid her, sparing himself and her any more pain. He didn't think he could trust himself not to reveal how he really felt if he was left alone with her. That was the reason why he was in such a 'great' mood at the thought of being trapped and alone in a shuttle with her for hours.

In truth, he didn't know what he was going to do, not just about this mission but the ones in the future. He just couldn't cope seeing her everyday and knowing nothing could ever happen between them. He had entertained the thought of transferring to another ship, he had spent a good three years on Enterprise, getting her into good condition, perhaps he was ready for a change. Colombia - Earth's second warp five vessel was preparing to leave, and he had been offered the position of chief engineer. He didn't know if he truly wanted to leave Enterprise, he had made many friends in the past three years, but he still hadn't turned down Colombia's job offer, and every time he saw the Vulcan science officer the position looked better and better.

* * *

After a quick shower, he soon arrived at the shuttle bay, finding T'pol performing the pre-flight check. After a brief acknowledgement he seated himself in the seat next to her, she was wearing the skin-tight red cat suit that she always looked so good in. It complemented her figure and her eyes and… _Stop it Tucker, she's a married woman. _he ordered, forcing himself to search his mind for anything that would take his thoughts away from her. _Ok, Number two hundred and fourteen, Koss gets mauled by giant Shelat. Number two hundred and fifteen Koss falls off Mount Seleya. Number two hundred and… _

"Commander" T'pol's monotone voice brought the engineer out of his thoughts. He looked over to her.

"We are prepared to leave; I suggest you acquaint yourself with the phenomenon." She said, pushing a pad towards Trip. He took it, and started scanning the data.

T'pol looked over to him, her sensitive nose picking up traces of engine grease and soap. His hair was still slightly damp, and an untamed blond curl had fallen on to his forehead. She quelled the illogical part of her that wanted to stroke the lock of hair off his face. Her feelings towards the engineer were so illogical, she was bonded to Koss and yet she found her thoughts constantly drifting to this human, what was wrong with her? She was Vulcan, and Vulcan's didn't even entertain the thoughts she was having. She had tried to convince herself that it was a residual effect from her time in the Expanse, a side effect from her abuse of Trellium and that it would go away in time. She knew she was only fooling herself.

Ever since that day on Vulcan, she kept reflecting back on what had happened in the Expanse. Especially the time when Enterprise had met with their descendants, her and Trip's son - Lorian. Soon after she had found out about her… son's existence she had gone to meet her future self, their conversation all those months ago replaying over and over in her head.

'_The human's have a saying follow your heart.' _the words echoed throughout her consciousness, and T'pol allowed her gaze to flicker over to the engineer. 'What if my heart doesn't know what it wants.' she asked her elder self…. '_It will, in time_.'

T'pol almost envied the other Enterprise. There her alternate self never had to deal with politics or arranged marriages; she wasn't practically blackmailed into a bonding she didn't want. All her choices were her own, she had been able to 'follow her heart' - something T'pol could now never do, even if she had decided what her heart wanted. One thing she did know for sure though was that it didn't want Koss.

"Shuttle pod one, are you ready to depart?" The voice of Captain Archer cut through the craft's communications.

T'pol was brought back to reality and reached over to press the com. "I have just performed the necessary pre-flight diagnostics and we are ready to depart, Captain." The Vulcan responded, looking over to the other occupant of the pod. The Commander was seating himself in the flight seat and was activating the controls.

"We're ready when you are Cap'n" Trip responded

"Ok, good luck you two."

The outer door of Enterprise's shuttle bay parted, the small Earth craft manoeuvred through the gap and was soon entering the blackness of space. Trip altered the shuttle's heading, taking them towards the spectacle of brightly coloured light, which surrounded the planet below.

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More to come in chapter two, which should be out within the next week, or two...probably. 

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

* * *

Chapter 2 

Within minutes the craft was at the edge of the phenomenon, T'Pol immediately getting to work, taking numerous scans and other readings. The silence inside the craft was almost unbearable, T'Pol would have normally preferred not talking about trivial things, but in the years that she had been on the Earth ship, she had grown…accustomed to their idle conversation. After several long and arduous minutes, Trip broke the silence.

"So… How was your honeymoon?" he asked, his voice steady, revealing no apparent emotion.

"Honeymoon?"

"Yeah, you were on Vulcan for two weeks, I figured…" Trip left the sentence hanging, causing T'Pol to draw her own conclusions.

"Vulcan's don't have honeymoon's." She responded almost instantaneously. "After the ceremony I went to Mount Seleya to meditate….Alone." She continued, emphasising the last word. She didn't know why, but she wanted, no, needed him to know that nothing happened between her and Koss.

Trip nodded, he felt slightly better with her answer. In truth he didn't even know why he asked it, perhaps he could have gotten some…closure if he had heard she had gone off with Koss to start her new life. Trip cleared his throat as another uncomfortable silence came over the craft. T'Pol went back to analysing the data streaming across her screen, whilst Trip stared absently out of the shuttle's front view screen. Neither of the two Enterprise officer's even attempted to star up a new conversation, the next hour passing in relative silence.

"Enterprise to shuttle pod one." The sudden noise caused Trip to jump, he leaned over and activated the com.

"We're here captain, what can we do for you?"

"We have just received a distress signal from a nearby system. It appears a small ship is having some problems and could use our assistance."

"Is it serious captain" T'Pol interjected

"No, but it will be soon if they don't get some help. We should be back in around eighteen hours. Do you know when you will have completed your scan's T'Pol?" The captain questioned

"I estimate we will be finished in five point three hours, however the planet's orbit will soon mean the phenomenon will dissipate, perhaps even cease before Enterprise has time to return."

"Are we suggesting that we leave you?"

"Shuttle pod one is more than capable of sustaining our needs until Enterprise returns." T'Pol answered back

Archer considered what the Vulcan had said for a few seconds.

"Very well, I'll see that Enterprise doesn't take too long, and also T'Pol, a message from Vulcan came through for you, it was marked urgent. Do you want Hoshi to re-route it to the shuttle?" Archer asked

T'Pol looked over to the other occupant of the pod. His back was to her and he was still staring out of the main view screen so she couldn't see his reaction.

"That is unnecessary Captain, it can wait until I am back on Enterprise." She responded.

It was no doubt Koss. Her husband had allowed her to return to Enterprise, even thought newly married couple's always resided together for one year after the bonding ceremony. He had allowed her to resume her duties, but she knew that was only going to be temporary, soon she would have to return to Vulcan, never again to return to Enterprise. The transmission was more than likely telling her how long she had left to serve on the human vessel. It seemed that now not even where she worked was left up to her.

"Ok, be careful you two, and remember Enterprise will be out of communications range so try not to get into any trouble." He said, directing the last part more at Trip than anyone else.

"We'll try our best Cap'n, Tucker out."

"We should attempt to finish these scans soon." T'Pol stated.

"Yes, I wouldn't want you to keep Koss waiting." Trip answered back, the words slipping out before he even had a chance to stop them.

"There was no way of knowing who the message is from." T'Pol replied back.

"It'll be hubby, probably checking up on you to see if us illogical human's are bothering you, or tainting you with our pesky emotions." Trip retorted.

"You are getting emotional commander."

Trip closed his eyes, he knew she was right but something in him had just snapped. "Yeah, well so what if I am, you know for such an apparently logical species you still have so many illogical and archaic traditions. What's logical about marring someone you hardly know, someone who blackmailed you into getting him to be with you. Someone you don't even love!"

"Vulcan's do not experience emotions Commander, feelings are irrelevant." The Vulcan responded, trying to convince herself as much as Trip.

"Well maybe you should have told me that before I fell in love with one."

T'Pol's eyes widened as she realised what he had just said. Was it true? She knew he had feelings for her, but she had never realised the extent of them. Did he… love her?

Trip immediately regretted his slip up. He had promised himself he was never going to say anything but she just got him so, so worked up! He knew he was going to regret what he was about to say for the rest of his life but it wasn't fair on him or her. And besides he would feel better if T'Pol hated him, than if she felt anything else for him. If he knew she felt something, even something miniscule for him he would get his hopes up. Something which he couldn't allow himself to do, he couldn't get hurt like this again.

"You know just forget what I said. This is just some human crush I've had on you since the Expanse. I guess I've just got a thing for alien women. It's not like I didn't enjoy your experiment. I'm all for progressing the field of science…Just ask Liana, Princess Kaitaama, and Ah'lenn." he grinned. Outside he displayed a callous, cocky façade. Inside he was killing himself, he knew comparing T'Pol to those other women - as if she meant nothing to him would hurt her, but it's what he had to do. Nothing had ever happened between him and the other women, but T'Pol didn't know that. He couldn't help it, it was a defence mechanism, designed to stop him from getting hurt further.

The engineer's cruel words stabbed at T'Pol's heart like a knife. To be compared to those other women, as another one of his conquests was something she never thought he would say. She pushed down all emotion that threatened to spill. She remembered back to one of Enterprise's first missions. The Commander had gotten impregnated by his 'exploration' of another species. She had been right in her assumptions then, he was just an arrogant, emotion human being who just wanted one thing. Why had she ever thought that there could have been something more between them?

T'Pol's Vulcan mask didn't change but Trip could tell his words had affected her. Her eyes almost shone with unshed tears. He felt like a completely heartless bastard and he knew he was right

"It is fortunate that I chose you to carry out my exploration into human sexuality with you then commander. Any other human would have needed some sort of emotional relationship. It appears you do not." She answered back, her voice steady.

As their exchange continued T'Pol's focus was taken away from the data stream. Both occupants were unaware of the dangers that were building up outside the craft.

"Perhaps my marriage was for the best, now you are free to be impregnated by any species you come across." She stated bluntly back, he knew it was a low shot but he deserved it.

"Perhaps it was." he shot back, turning back around in his chair to stare out of the view screen. The conversation had ended but the two officers were still left reeling from it. Trip squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out everything. He hated Koss, he hated Vulcan, he hated the Captain for making him go on this damn mission, but most of all he hated himself.

T'Pol meanwhile immersed herself back into her work. She would not let this human get to her! So then why did she feel worse now that she did when she was marrying Koss? At least then she had thought the commander felt something for her, and if she had to admit it, she a Vulcan felt something for him. Even if she didn't understand what it was. But now it seemed she was mistaken. He had never felt anything for her it seemed. She clenched her jaw, inside torrents of emotion cascaded around her, she would not get emotional!

The next few hours passed in complete silence, the two occupants of the pod left alone with their thoughts. With no apparent warning a slight shudder shook the shuttle, it was nothing to cause concern, but within minutes the slight shudder had grown exponentially, causing the two Enterprise personnel to be thrown around the small craft.

"What the hell is going on?" Trip shouted, as another wave hit the shuttle.

"The phenomenon is affecting the shuttle's systems. We're losing control."

As the shuttle lurched forwards the couple's problems were put aside as they worked effortlessly with each, trying to regain control over the craft.

"It's no good, we need to land."

"The planet below us has a suitable atmosphere, but the average temperature is minus thirty seven degrees, we'll freeze to death before long."

"Well right now I don't really think we have a choice." Trip answered back, as he attempted to steer the shaking shuttle towards the enormous icy planet below.

"This is shuttle pod one, we are losing control and are attempting to make an emergency landing." The sound of T'Pol's voice caught Trip's attention, he looked over to her, she was talking into the com; attempting to contact Enterprise.

"I repeat this is shuttle pod one, we are losing control and are attempting to make an emergency landing." She repeated again.

"Did the signal get through?" Trip queried

"I can not be certain, the phenomenon could have blocked the signal."

The shuttle tore through the planets atmosphere as the craft veered towards the surface. The front of the ship began to glow red as they made their descent towards the surface.

"We're coming in too fast" Trip cried out as the planet's white surface became nearer and nearer. "I can't make a stable landing."

The craft dived towards the planet, the shuttle bouncing off it's surface as it slid along metres and metres of the crisp white ice. Trip became briefly aware of T'Pol calling his name, as pain flooded his senses. His last few seconds were spent regretting what could have been the last thing he said to T'Pol, before the world around him went black!


	3. Chapter 3

Trip cracked his eyes open, soon regretting it. His vision swam as he attempted to look around at his surroundings; he moved to sit up, a cry escaping his lips. Looking down he saw a small puddle of crimson liquid pooling by the side of his crooked leg. _Yep, defiantly broken, _he thought grimly. Looking around he saw the still form of his Vulcan companion. His heart jumped, and he could hear it pounding within his ears.

"T'Pol?" he called out, nervously.

He received no response, clenching his jaw he crawled over to her, his injured leg sending pain shooting through his form. Even though he had moved no more than a metre, it felt as if all his strength had been drained.

"T'Pol" he muttered again, his voice slightly slurred. He reached his hand up to her, shaking her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and locked with his.

"Are you ok?" he asked sincerely

She sat up slowly, "I am uninjured" she responded.

Looking over to the engineer, she took notice of the clamminess of his face and the crooked shape of his leg, vital liquid seeping through his uniform.

"You are hurt"

Was it him or did she sound concerned?

"I'm fine, it's just a break, Phlox will be able to fix it up no problem" he replied.

T'Pol looked unconvinced, moving closer to him she knelt down and lightly examined his leg, Trip wasn't able to suppress the gasp that escaped his lips.

"Ok, maybe it's a bit worse than I said." he gasped

"You are loosing a lot of blood."

"I think there's an emergency med kit, somewhere over there." he said pointing behind her.

Standing up she quickly found the medical equipment, kneeling back beside him she started to rip at his bloodied trouser leg. It was far worse than she was expecting, if he didn't get medical attention soon….

"How does it look?"

She looked over to him; Trip knew her more than most and was accustomed to her facial expressions, small as they were. "That good huh." he answered for her.

"I will need to try and reset the bone, before you lose any more blood." She stated in her direct Vulcan way.

Trip nodded, "is there any pain relief in the med kit?"

"I am unsure whether to give you any medication; in your present state it could have serious side effects. You could lapse into a coma."

Trip closed his eyes. "Your probably right, just do it quick."

T'Pol looked apprehensively at the engineer, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. At least this way he would hopefully be alive long enough for Enterprise to rescue them.

She softly placed her hands on his injured leg and pulled, manoeuvring it into place. A pain filled scream erupted from Trip's lips, it was too much for the human's body to take and he passed out.

T'Pol began bandaging his leg; it was still bad, very bad. However, it would give him a better chance of survival until Phlox could get to him. Looking around the small craft, she found a blanket, and placed it carefully over him. _What would I do if I lost him? _It was an illogical and selfish thought but she thought it none the less. Before the incident with Koss, Trip had been her most valued friend aboard Enterprise, perhaps anywhere. It wasn't just because of their 'experiment', she could have gone to him with anything and he would have gladly taken the time to help her. That was gone now but she had been hoping to return to some sort of normality, any sort of normality. However, if she lost him, she knew Enterprise would be a much lonelier, emptier place without him. An Enterprise she may not want to return to.

Standing up she walked over to the front console, perhaps now would be the best time to analyse the situation they had gotten themselves into. The ships systems had taken a beating on the journey down here, many were non-operational. Hopefully she could get some of them to function enough to send a distress signal to Enterprise, or find some way to get off this planet. Submerging herself under the console her nimble fingers started to reconnect some of the damaged systems. She was aware that with each passing minute the temperature in the craft slightly decreased. The temperature controls were completely broken, even Trip wouldn't be able to fix them. A fact, which didn't bode well for the two officers'.

Two hours had soon passed aboard the small craft, Trip was still unconscious - a fact which was starting to concern T'Pol. The temperature was now slightly below zero, and still dropping. On the plus side though, she had managed to get the oxygen filters slightly operational, at least now they had cleaner air to breath when they froze to death. She was now attempting to fix the communication system, like the temperature controls, it too was practically unsalvageable. Pulling her blanket tighter around herself, her shaking hands tried to connect several wires in the com together. It was useless; even if the com was salvageable, her fingers kept stiffening up from the cold -preventing her from doing anything productive.

A groan from behind her brought her concentration away from the job at hand. Turning around she saw that Trip had begun to stir, his heavy breaths visible in the cold. She moved over to him in an instant, his eyelids were flickering open and closed. It appeared to be taking some effort to even regain consciousness.

"Mr Tucker can you hear me?" she questioned, it looked as if he was slipping back under. In his condition, coupled with the cold he could easily lapse into a coma, something T'Pol wasn't going to allow.

"….Trip can you hear me?" the use of his nickname on her lips had the desired effect on the young engineer and his eyelids opened, staying open this time.

"T'Pol?" he whispered, coughing slightly. "..Hurts" he gasped.

She winced slightly, as she heard the pain in his voice. "I know, but I can't give you any medication for it"

He nodded slightly. "How bad is it?" he said referring to the shuttle.

"None of the key systems are operational, communications and the temperature regulators are inoperable."

"Did we get the message through at least?"

"I can not be sure."

He nodded again and yawned, shutting his eyes.

"Commander you need to remain awake."

"I'm so tired T'Pol"

"That may be the case but you still need to remain conscious."

Trip opened his eyes again, his face had lost all colour and he was shivering slightly.

"How are your parents?" T'Pol asked starting up a conversation.

Trip didn't answer for a few seconds, he knew what she was doing and why. It was likely that if he did go back to sleep then he could never wake up again, something that scared him to death, pardon the pun. Even after all the hurtful things he had said to her before they crashed, and he knew they had hurt her, Vulcan or not - she was still helping and looking after him _He didn't deserve her. _

"They're fine, they moved to a new house. Lizzie would have loved it" he answered. T'Pol had been his lifeline in the Expanse when he was dealing with the death of his little sister. To be honest he wouldn't know what he would have done without her, a fact that made him feel even worse about his earlier comments. It wasn't her fault she had to marry Koss, yet he took it out on her.

The next hour passed in much the same way, they casually talked, just as they did before. It only stood to remind Trip of what he had lost, and what he could never have with her again. With every minute that passed, the shuttle became colder, if that was possible. Trip couldn't help the shiver that wracked his frame and the sharp intake of breath as he jarred his already painful leg. He pulled his blanket closer to him, locking in any excess heat.

T'Pol looked over to the engineer, his lips were slightly blue from the cold and she was shivering just as much. She knew what she was about to say would be uncomfortable for both of them, but there wasn't much choice.

"It is logical that we should start conserving body heat."

Trip swallowed, if it wasn't bad enough that he felt as if he was dying, whilst being trapped on an ice planet with the married woman he loved; now she wanted to conserve body heat! He apprehensively acknowledged and she moved to lie next to him, her body pressed against his. It was true that he instantly felt warmer, but he had also instantly felt more uncomfortable.

"I never thought I'd be freezing my butt off on a shuttle again, I swear shuttle pod one's cursed." he mumbled, barely above a whisper.

He knew with each moment that passed his life was ebbing away, he could feel it. His leg was still bleeding, albeit not as badly, but he was feeling more and more weak from the blood loss, and the unbearable cold. He looked down at T'Pol; her head was resting on his chest. If he was going to go, he didn't want the words that she remembered him by being him comparing her to his other 'conquests'.

"T'Pol, do you remember what I said before, about you just being some foolish crush."

She didn't respond but he knew she had heard him. "You know, just as much as me that was complete bull, I didn't want to put pressure on you. I know you didn't have any choice marrying Koss, and a part of me thought that you hating me would be better than if you felt anything else for me." he continued

"This isn't exactly where or when I wanted to say it but I do love you, more than I ever thought I could. I know you're with Koss and it's selfish of me to put you in this position but I couldn't die with you hating me."

T'Pol raised her head and met his eyes; she could see the sincerity in which he had said those words. _I don't deserve his love, _she whispered internally to herself. She had bonded to Koss, even though she suspected the engineer had feelings for her. Brought him to Vulcan to see her wed Koss. And even before that incident, in the Expanse she had passed over their night together as an 'experiment', and just generally ignored him when it suited her.

"I could never hate you Trip" she whispered back, entwining her fingers with his under the blankets. "I regret ever going back to Vulcan, perhaps then things could have been different between us if I never went."

Trip slightly smiled back, "perhaps" he coughed, the cold air engulfing his lungs. "I guess we'll never know now. At least I got to see what our life could have been like, what our son would have been like." He finished, referring to the events, which unfolded in the Expanse. He had been so amazed when he found out he had a son - Lorian, except now Lorian, or any child he could have had with T'Pol would never exist.

"I went to see my future self on the other Enterprise, she talked about you." T'Pol began, she didn't know why she was telling the engineer this but she found herself doing it anyway.

"What did she say?" Trip whispered, his voice raspy

"She told me to follow my heart."

Trip reluctantly asked the question he needed to know, "…What does your heart want?"

T'Pol considered what the engineer had said, and gave her honest answer." I don't know."

The two lay in silence for several minutes, neither knowing quite what to say. T'Pol had her head resting upon his heart, his heartbeat was becoming slower and if she had to admit it, it terrified her. His breathing was becoming more and more shallow, if Enterprise didn't find them soon then the ship would soon need a new chief engineer.

"T'Pol?" T'Pol turned to look into Trip's eyes "…it hurts so much." The Vulcan could see it in his eyes the amount of raw pain he was in, her eyes watered slightly as she tightened her grasp on his hand. "Then sleep Trip, I'm here." she whispered, her voice catching in her throat.

Trip looked over to her, his grasp on reality becoming weaker and weaker as the pain and cold consumed him. "Ok, goodnight darl'n." he muttered.

"Goodnight Trip." She replied, her emotional barriers cracking. She listened to his heartbeat become slower and slower with every passing minute. Shivering she closed her eyes, joining the engineer in restless slumber.

* * *

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, sorry it took so long to update. 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note 

Sorry it took me so long to update this fic, the muse, unlike me, has gone on an extended vacation :( This chapter comes with a tissue warning, and as always reviews are welcomed.

* * *

Chapter 4

T'Pol awoke, and instead of the icy pinpricks of cold she expected to be feeling all she felt was warmth. Her superior Vulcan hearing listened to her soundings, and she was bombarded with familiar sounds. She cracked her eyes open, and looked to her surroundings, she was in sickbay. Pushing herself into a sitting position, she was able to make out the shapes of Captain Archer and Phlox, who were quietly conversing, no doubt about hers and Trip's condition. _Trip _her mind whispered in concern. Was he still alive?

Placing her feet on the hard sickbay floor she slowly stood up, gaining a protest from her stiff joints, which were still recovering from the cold. Walking towards the two, they immediately ceased their conversation.

"T'Pol? You should be resting." Phlox began, concern present in his voice.

"I am fine Doctor."

"How is Tr…Commander Tucker?" she corrected herself.

She noticed the nervous glance that passed between both the doctor and the captain.

"His body sustained a lot of damage; I have done all I can for him…" The Doctor continued, the normal jovial tone in his voice absent.

T'Pol frowned, even though she was Vulcan and displayed no outside emotion, she was very perceptive of other people's feelings, there was more to the story.

"Will he recover?" She asked apprehensively.

The Doctor paused, as if thinking how best to phrase what he was about to say. He drew in a deep breath and answered, "I have done all I can to treat his injuries, but the commander is currently in a coma, his neurological activity is decreasing, his brain is in essence shutting down, and so his body is being kept alive on life support. It is unlikely he will ever regain consciousness" he finished, his voice expressing his sadness. Commander Tucker was liked by every member of the crew, he was the heart of Enterprise, and he would be truly missed.

T'Pol was unprepared for the onslaught of emotions; it felt as if her heart was physically aching. She had never felt like this in her entire sixty-six years of life, and it was an experience she could easily live without. Her mind flashed over everything that occurred upon the shuttle, she should have done more to save him.

"Can I see him?" she asked, her voice unsteady.

"This way" Phlox answered, leading her to a curtained off area of sickbay. It was obvious to the Denoblian the feelings those two held for each other. In a way it was his fault, he had suggested the neuro-pressure sessions, and their initial attraction had grown from there. Recently he, and the rest of the ship had noticed the distance between the two officers. He was unsure what had caused it, and he had hoped that they would resolve their differences, but now it seemed they would never have that chance. The Doctor considered Trip to be a great friend; he had got to know the young engineer over the years, and developed a friendship with the man, which would now be truly missed.

T'Pol walked around the curtained area, and was greeted by Trip Tucker's prone form lying flat out on a bed, his body hooked up to numerous sickbay machines. All of the colour had been drained from his body, and he was a deathly white. T'Pol managed to walk closer to him and sat in the seat next to him. Hearing about how ill he was paled in comparison to seeing it, she reached over her hand and interlocked her fingers with his. Phlox watched the small, yet intimate gesture by the Vulcan. And then excused himself, wanting to give the two some privacy.

T'Pol held the humans hand, her humans hand. She had never believed, never wanted believe that this was how it was going to end. Trip had been the one person on Enterprise who she could always count on, even in the early days when they would have their, now infamous 'disagreements', he would go out of his way to help her adjust and fit in. Inviting her to movie night, introducing her to new things, new concepts, but now that would never happen again. Never again would she hear his southern drawl that quickened her heart rate, see his boyish grin that elicited such feelings. Feel his gentle, warm hands on her skin, which stirred in her passions that she never knew Vulcan's could experience. He was the one her katra yearned for, but could never have.

'_Follow your heart'_. Her alternate self's voice echoed in her mind, and in that moment she realised what her elder self aboard the other Enterprise had meant, it had been Trip, always been him, who her heart desired, all it took for her to realise it was to lose him.

A drop of moisture fell onto her hand, she had not even realised that she was crying, she wiped her face, but her eyes soon spilled with more tears. If any Vulcan saw her she would be looked upon with disgust, to the extent a Vulcan could look disgusted. Emotions in her culture were suppressed, forbidden, yet she found herself not caring.

She tightened her grasp on Trip's hand, his lifeless fingers not responding to her touch. She leaned into him, her lips mere inches from his ear, so he alone could hear what she said. It was illogical to believe he could hear her, but since when did she listen to logic when it concerned this man?

"You asked me what my heart wanted Trip, you asked me who I wanted, I know now." She mumbled to him. "A part of me always knew, whispered the thoughts I tried to ignore, the feelings I knew, yet chose to suppress, I never listened before. I was foolish to think they would just disappear in time, if anything my feelings for you grow stronger each and every day I see you… My heart wants you Trip." she whispered, squeezing her eyes closed as more tears threatened to spill.

She thought she almost felt him squeeze her hand, and in that one second, everything felt right. He was coming out of his coma, he was going to recover. She was going to be with her true mate. That dream stopped almost as quickly, as the monitors around her beeped erratically.

Doctor Phlox came running in, quicker than she had ever seen the Denoblian move. "Please stand aside, T'Pol" he ordered. The Vulcan could only look on in bewilderment, as the Doctor rushed around trying to stabilise Trip's readings. He moved over, picking up a device to shock Trip's heart. He placed it upon the engineer and she could only watch as Trip's body jerked in response. The monitors beeping around her showing no change. Phlox tried again, shocking Trip's heart in an attempt to start it. It did nothing, except weaken hers.

Her eyes locked onto Trip, her vision misting. His body jerked again, the electrical shock ripping through his body. She gripped the chair next to her as a sudden agonising pain ripped through her mind. It felt as if her mind was exploding, her hands moved to her head, shaking slightly. She held her temple, and she bent over in pain, a small scream of pain leaving her lips.

Phlox's head snapped to the origin of the sound, and watched as T'pol sank to the floor. He shouted to her, but received no response. He clenched his jaw as he became torn over whom to help. His priority was Commander Tucker. If he was right about what was happening to T'pol, her condition was connected to the engineer. To help her he would have to save Trip.

T'pol let out another excruciating gasp, as the pain in her head intensified. She felt an incessant pulsating pain take over her system, and she collapsed.

T'pol opened her eyes, and instead of sickbay, which she expected to see, she saw only a white haze.

"T'pol?" T'pol's brow furrowed as she heard a distinctive southern drawl, it seemed she was, how the humans affectionately called 'losing it'.

"T'pol?" the voice sounded again, and the Vulcan opened her eyes, her gaze travelled over her surroundings. It was the white room she meditated in, but why had she heard his voice?

"Trip?" she called out, almost unsure of herself.

"I'm here, turn around" T'pol slowly pivoted on her heel, almost scared of what she would see. She stopped, her eyes falling on the engineer. Could she just be hallucinating?

"What is this place?" he asked, "What happened on the shuttle, all I remember is falling asleep and now I wake up here."

T'pol moved closer to him, he didn't seem to be a figment of her imagination. "This is where I meditate." she responded

"Seems kind of dull. But why am I here?" he asked, again.

"You do not recall anything that happened after you lost consciousness?" she queried

Trip shook his head, "Why" he questioned, taking in her expression, if he didn't know better it would have looked like she had just been crying, "What's going on T'pol" he asked, his voice taking on a slightly worried tone.

T'pol's mind ran through all the possibilities of what was happening, she could only come up with one logical solution, one that surely couldn't be correct...or could it?

"You are in sickbay, where you are…where you are dying." She whispered.

Trip frowned, "…no, I'm here in some sort of white room, with you."

T'pol swallowed, pausing for a moment to consider her words. "I believe you are in my mind…. Your Katra has sought mine in it's final moments".

Trip's eyes widened, "But…but, then how? You said I was dying, I…"

"Time is mostly irrelevant here. Hours may pass here, but mere seconds could pass aboard Enterprise."

Trip sank to the floor, "I'm dying," he whispered, almost not believing it himself.

"Yes…" she said, through quivering lips.

He looked up to her, the sight of her very obvious emotional state shocking him. He knew she was capable of emotion, but actually seeing it, actually seeing her cry showed the severity of the situation.

"OK…so how is this even possible?" Trip questioned, his hands waving absently to the surroundings.

T'pol closed her eyes, that was the question she had hoped he would not ask. There was only one obvious answer, but how was it even possible? He was a human; she had never believed it possible. There had to be some other explanation, one that she hadn't considered. But what more proof did she need, they were sharing minds. And that just meant one thing, a bond had formed between her and Trip. How had she not realised it before?

She sat down beside him, her shoulders slightly brushing his; she was in a Vulcan state of shock. T'pol answered the engineer truthfully, "I believe a bond has formed between us, allowing me to speak to you. It is sometimes believed that when Vulcan's mate, and there is an affection between the two a connection forms."

Trip allowed a small smile to caress his features, his apparent mortality had not hit him yet, and he wanted to enjoy the time he had left.

"I guess it was more than just an experiment then".

T'pol turned towards him, "You know it was more than that Trip…I have never _felt" _She paused, the word alien on her lips. "I have never feltlike this about anybody before. You asked me what my heart wanted back on the shuttle. My heart wants you Trip." she whispered, her face inches away from his. "It always has."

Trip leaned into her, his lips finding hers. She responded just as passionately, her hand passing through his hair, moving closer to him. They broke apart breathlessly, their foreheads touching. "You don't know what that means to me T'pol" he muttered. "Your timing kind of sucks though" he grinned. T'pol raised her eyebrow. Trust Trip to make a joke out of his present situation.

"I don't want you to go Trip, I" She was silenced, one of his fingers being placed over her lips.

"Shhhh, I don't want my last few moment to be spent like this. Just being given this opportunity is more than I could have asked for. I wouldn't want to go any other way T'pol, being here with you is all I want."

He watched as more emotions danced across her face, he stood up and gripped her hand, pulling her up with him. "Soooo, this is your mind huh, kinda boring if you ask me." he drawled, looking around.

"It is presented as such so I can find peace, and meditate. My mind is Vulcan, and unlike yours is organised"

"So, you're calling us humans un-organised?"

She allowed a minuscule smile to appear, "No, just you."

Trip responded with a boyish grin, which only make her heart ach more. Knowing that that would be one more thing she would miss about him.

"So, you're saying that you can change this white room to something completely different…say a beach"

She nodded in response, her brow furrowed as she accessed a memory of a beach she had once seen in pictures Trip had. The scene around them changed, and now surrounding them was sandy seashore, complete with waves, lapping at the side of them. Trip's face changed into a look of amazement, and his boyish grin returned. T'pol took a small amount of pleasure from his happiness, and held his hand tighter.

"This looks exactly like the place I used to go surfing. We used to come down here, me, Lizzie, my brother, and my parents. This was one of my favourite places as a kid." A small sound of sadness echoed in his voice. The realisation that he would never get to see his family again, just hitting him.

T'pol could almost feel his sadness, and she indicated for them to sit. She sat down, and he put his arm around her, her head sank into the crook of his neck. "I want you to keep an eye on my parents T'pol. They've already lost Lizzie; they still haven't even recovered from it. Make sure they're ok."

"I will," She simply muttered.

"You know I wanted to take you somewhere like this. Perhaps even teach you how to surf, or dive….I guess I'll never get that chance now." He choked, his voice catching in his throat.

T'pol didn't respond. The two sat together in silence, watching the waves, as they hit the beach. Both holding each other, and both knowing the time they had together was limited.

Trip turned and looked towards the Vulcan that had stolen his heart. "…I love you T'pol" he stated.

Her brows furrowed, holding back more emotions, "…And I you." She whispered.

The beach around them flickered, Trip's eyes widened, as the realisation of what was happening hit him. He looked towards T'pol, his finger tracing across her jaw line. He leaned into her, tears stinging his vision, as he kissed her.

He broke their kiss, and his baby blue eyes stared into hers. His lips quivered, "…Please T'pol, why can't I stay…."

A tear flowed freely down her face, as the room around her disappeared. She called out to him, and the next thing she became aware of was the incessant beeping of the monitors around her. She was back in sickbay.

She stood up immediately and moved closer to Trip's bed. Phlox was still trying to start Trip's heart. The Denoblian hung his head in defeat, as his hands dropped to his side. Tears misting his vision. "….He's not responding,…there's nothing else I can do." he choked.

She shook her head, "No! Doctor there's has to be something you can do, please, you can help him, please." She begged, the last few minutes playing in her mind.

The Denoblian looked over to her; he had never seen her like this before. Even after the Trellium, she still had some control, but this was completely different.

"He sustained too much damage." he answered, his voice catching at the edge of his throat. "I'm sorry T'Pol, he's gone."

She shook her head, again, refusing to believe it. "No! He can't, he can't, there has to be something you can do for him." She pleaded. "Please, you have to save him."

Phlox's lip quivered, and he moved over to the Vulcan. "He's dead T'Pol"

She shook her head, tears flowing freely. T'Pol's eyes met the doctors, and in her brown, shimmering orbs he could see every ounce of pain she was in. She moved over to Trip's, now lifeless body, and took his hand in hers, once more.

Phlox looked upon the two, he had come to this ship to break away from his family, to experience new things, he had never expected to find a new family here, on Enterprise. He clenched his jaw as more emotions flooded his senses; he'd give them some time alone, before he informed the Captain and the crew. The two deserved that at least. He bowed his head and walked away, only now realising how sickbay was deathly quiet. Even his normally lively, and loud menagerie were silent, as if sensing the mood, and mourning the lost commander.

T'Pol didn't know what she was really feeling, but empty described it well. She had finally admitted what she had always felt, but they didn't even have a day spent together. She had lost the one person she thought, and hoped, that would always be there for her. All it took to realise just how important he was to her was to lose him. A tragic irony that was not lost on the Vulcan. She recalled the concept of a soul mate, a human term, yet what it described was universal. She had found hers in Trip, but as quickly as she had found him, she had lost him.

She closed her eyes, an illogical surge of anger overtaking her. There was no reason to be angry, no one was responsible for this, but that didn't quell the feeling. She was angry at herself, for not doing more. Angry at the phenomenon for causing the crash. Angry at Phlox for not being able to do more, and lastly angry at Trip for leaving her.

What was going to happen now though? Trip had talked to her about how hard it was for his parents loosing his sister Elizabeth in the Xindi attack. Could they cope knowing another child was lost to them? The sudden thought of children reminded T'Pol of Lorian. He would never be born now, even if she and Trip had found a way to be together. Koss would no doubt expect her to bear his children. That thought sickened her. Trip had been the only one she considered fathering her children, they would be half-breeds to others, but they would have been a part of her and Trip. Her mother had even pointed out it couldn't happen, it appeared she had been right.

"…Phlox just told me." The strained voice of Jonathan Archer found her ears.

"He is…was like a brother to me." He continued, correcting himself. "This was just supposed to be an easy mission; I'm the one that ordered him on it. His death is my fault." he whispered, his voice catching in his throat.

T'Pol turned around, and for the first time in his life Jonathan Archer saw a Vulcan crying. "You are not responsible Captain, his death was an accident, as explorers our work is hazardous, Trip was just unlucky."

The Captain nodded, "He was always getting into trouble, even before Enterprise. He'd always just laugh it off, and say it made life interesting." Archer looked down as more tears spilled. "I don't know what I'm going to do without him, or what Enterprise is going to do. He was the heart of this ship."

Archer thought for a few seconds and briefly smiled "But first he'd tell me to stop being so damn sentimental".

T'Pol didn't respond, but he knew she had heard him. She just sat clutching Trip's hands. He had always wondered about T'Pol and Trip's relationship, it must have been serious though, if it was affecting the normally emotionless Vulcan.

"I need to contact his parents," he muttered, "They're still devastated over Lizzie, I don't know how they're going to take it." he continued, his eyes resting on Trip's, now peaceful form. He took one last look at the engineer and left, leaving sickbay to have the conversation he had always prayed he would never have.

* * *

Days passed aboard Enterprise, and the crew were still trying to absorb the news. Every time the doors to the bridge opened, the bridge crew had to remind themselves it wasn't Trip, it was the same in engineering. Hess had to stop herself every time a crewmember came up to her and asked her to sign off on a report, or ask a question. She would normally tell them to 'check it over with the chief', but now she was the chief engineer, not Trip. 

Trip's parents had taken it how Archer had expected, they had broken down. Parents were not meant to outlive their children, but they had, TWICE! He had explained everything that had happened, and expressed his condolences, but that was all he could do. Grief was a fickle emotion, and individuals had to deal with it in their own way.

A memorial had been arranged to take place, Trip's wishes were going to be carried out. He wanted a burial in space, so he could rest with the stars. A fitting end, in Archer's opinion. Space was the place Trip had always dreamed of visiting, it was what he aimed for throughout his life, it was only right he ended up there.

To the surprise of the senior officers, Trip had each left them their own personal message. No one knew he had done it, not even T'Pol, or Archer. The recordings had been found along with his personal belongings, and only stood to remind them of what they had lost.

The day of Trip's memorial soon came, and every non-essential member of the crew attended. As Enterprise was quite a distance away from Earth, and Trip wanted his burial in space anyway, his family had remained upon Earth. They were watching the proceedings from their home upon Earth on a live video link.

It soon became time for Trip's casket to be ejected into space. The crew paying their last respects, the senior staff being the last to do so. The message he had recorded for each of them replaying over and over again in their minds. His voice so clear it hauntingly echoed throughout their consciousness.

"_Hey Malcolm, I know you'll think this is a bit morbid, making a video like this but, what can I say with my look it was inevitable something was going to happen." Trip grinned,_ Malcolm slightly echoed his smile_. "You know that you've been one of my best friends on Enterprise these last few years, I'm glad I got to know you Malcolm" Trip finished. _The normally detached, security officer spilled his first set of tears, finally acknowledging the loss of his best friend.

"_Hoshi, you've been like a sister to me throughout our mission. You are the most talented linguist I know, God knows how you do it… Speaking one language is hard enough for me." he drawled in his normal southern accent, _Hoshi giggled slightly_. "I know you have a great career ahead of you, and if your watching this I'm not going to get to see it, but I know you'll do great." He finished, and gave her one of his normal boyish Tucker grins, the recording terminating. _Hoshi held her head in her hands, and let the emotions flow.

"_Travis, you are the best pilot I have ever known… just don't tell the captain I said that." Trip winked, _Travis elicited one of his thousand watt grins_. "You've grown up in space, somewhere I've always wanted to be, I guess if you're seeing this I'm not going to be experiencing it anymore." _Travis clenched his jaw_. "But don't make my death stop you from exploring and investigating, if anything take more risks, because life it too short, and there's so much to see… Have fun out there Travis."_

"_Phlox, we've got to know each other quite well over the years. I guess all my time spent in sickbay helped slightly." Trip beamed. "God knows you've had your hands fully with me. I mean first male to get pregnant? I never saw that coming!" _Phlox nodded sadly_. "I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me, I'm glad I got to know you Phlox, goodbye." Trip finished. _

Phlox looked over to Commander Tucker's casket. "Goodbye Commander" he whispered, sadly.

"_Jon, you've been one of my oldest friends. You have been like a brother to me, I know we've drifted apart recently, but you had a job to do, and I respect that. We've had so many adventures, it's a shame they've had to come to an end, but I've seen more than I could possibly imagine, and it's because of you, Jon, that I got this opportunity. I'm going to miss you…" the recording ended. _Archer blinked the tears away, as he moved over to the console which would launch the coffin.

"_T'Pol, this is the hardest recording I've had to make." Trip paused, as if thinking how to continue. "I've revised this recording since we were on Vulcan, as there I came to realise some things about you, that I had kept hidden." he paused, once more. "I remember our first few weeks on Enterprise, and I remember thinking you were one of the most infuriating and annoying people I had ever met…that's still true" he smirked. "But that's one of the reasons I fell for you. I don't know when I really started having feelings for you, perhaps it was in the beginning, or in the Expanse, it doesn't really matter, but they are there and I haven't felt like this about anyone in my life. I know you're with Koss, something which you couldn't help, but I needed to let you know how I felt." he looked directly into the camera, as if locking eyes with hers. "I love you T'Pol"…._

"And I you, T'hy'la T'Pol whispered, as she watched his casket being launched out into the blackness of space, her heart going with it. Her eyes misted, but she kept her composure. She was in public, and she was still Vulcan, but inside she felt broken, empty, and very alone.

Trip Tucker had touched so many lives, changed so many people - for the better. He had been the heart and soul of Enterprise, and now he was set to spend the rest of eternity floating dead, within the dark vacuum of space….

Or was he?

* * *

The end! 

This fic was always intended to end like this. However as a die hard Trip/T'pol fan it just doesn't seem right ending it here. The beauty of science fiction means that pretty much anything can happen, and so a possible sequal could occur.Whether I do write more though is up to you, so please review.


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